


Wibbly Wobbly Sassy Wassy

by thebestoftimes



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Enjoy!, Fluff, Gen, Humor, but i like it so, this is quick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-02
Updated: 2014-06-02
Packaged: 2018-02-03 04:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1731713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebestoftimes/pseuds/thebestoftimes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A drabble I wrote based off the prompt, "What would happen if two characters who never meet in cannon were to meet?"</p><p>I always loved Donna. I always loved Nine. But could time and space handle their sass colliding?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wibbly Wobbly Sassy Wassy

“What?”

“What?”

“What?!”

“Huh?”

“ _What?!”_

“Excuse me…”

“ _WHAT?!”_

“What, what?!”

“Who are you?” Donna cried at the strange man stepping out of the TARDIS.

“My name’s the Doctor,” he replied with a cheeky smile. “And you are?”

“No,” she answered.

“No? Fantastic name. I always wanted to meet someone called-“

“No, _you’re not_ the Doctor!”

That took him by surprise. He eyed her quizzically, his hand straying into a pocket in his leather jacket. Donna refused to admit how like the _real_ Doctor it looked-reaching for the sonic. The man pulled something silvery from inside and Donna rolled her eyes when she realized that yes, it was the sonic. The _same_ sonic. Oh dear Lord.

“Do I know you?” he asked, preparing to scan her. That was too much.

“Oh, don’t you go sonicking me like I’m some _door._ ” Donna ripped the screwdriver from his hand and held it up for examination. It was definitely the same one.

Something sparked in his eyes. “You know about the sonic! So who are you? Wait, hold on-do you know me in my future?!” His voice contained a mixture of confusion and curiosity. That tone was uncannily familiar.

“You don’t look at all like the Doctor I know-the proper one, that is,” she said, deciding to sonic _him_ for change. She had no idea how to scan something on the screwdriver, but she figured it would make her look like she had some idea as to what was going on.

“Well, no, I wouldn’t, would I,” the man explained, absentmindedly. “I’ll probably regenerate before I meet you.”

 Donna raised one eyebrow. “Look, _Spaceman-_ if you’re even my Spaceman friend-I don’t have any idea what that means, and I think you should stop making up things and tell me what’s going on.”

“Regenerate-it’s a thing! A real thing! A thingy sort of thing-not that you’d understand all that technical language bop-” Donna scoffed-“it’s a Time Lord thing, and I suppose that if I haven’t told you what it is already-future me, that is-then I probably shouldn’t tell you now! By the way,” he continued, “What’s your real name?”

She found herself stuttering, partly with mystification, partly with anger. “Donna. Donna Noble…”

“Nice to meet you, Donna Noble. Now, I should probably dash,” he said, pushing open the door to the police box and closing it behind him. Donna clenched her fists.

Was she just going to let this man ride off in the Doctor’s TARDIS and leave her without answers?

It was a lucky thing she wore sturdy boots that day.

“But-you can’t just-“protested the bizarre man inside when he saw her.

Donna cocked her head and _tsk-tsked_ a few times. “Mm…can’t I?”

He sighed. “Donna Noble, please remove yourself from this TARDIS. Here,” he pulled something out of another pocket. “You can even take this banana with you.”

“What.”

“Oh, we’re not back to this, are we, ‘No’?” Then, as if struck by the divine, he exclaimed, ”No! Like Noble, but shortened. It really is your name! Haha, ‘No.’ Am I this clever in the future?” Donna slapped him.

“Oi!”

At first, she thought it was the man in front of her that said it, but then she recognized the voice. “Doctor!” she called. “Finally! It took you long enough.”

“Donna, you’re not-“ said the voice from outside the TARDIS. “Are you in here?” There was a rapping on the door.

“Yeah, I am, and you’d better come in here now!”

The _other_ Doctor, as Donna had been calling him reluctantly in her head, made a motion as if to say _No! Don’t say that!_ But she ignored him.

The Doctor-the right one, this time, the skinny one with the blue suit, spiky hair, and ears that _didn’t_ stick out too much-entered the phone box cautiously. As soon as he saw the other man, or, Donna finally admitted, the other _him_ , he shook his head.

“We have to go,” he stated. “This will create a paradox, and paradoxes are dangerous. C’mon, Donna.”

“So you’re me?” assumed the _other_ Doctor. “Well, I’m not gonna turn out half bad, am I.”

Shaken from his harsh attitude for a moment, the Doctor smiled and impertinently adjusted his tie. “Oh, you think so?” he replied, ruffling his hair slightly.

“You’re going to be real _modest_ in the future,” Donna said sarcastically to the man in the leather coat. He chuckled.

“Is that a banana?” the Doctor interrupted brightly, snatching it from the Other Doctor. “Brilliant! I’d forgotten about the bananas. I’m keeping this.” He tucked it into his jacket happily. Donna rolled her eyes. “Yeah, well, we should get going,” the Doctor said hurriedly. “Now, I don’t remember any of this happening to me. When I first met Donna I had no idea who she was, and vice versa. I don’t think we can risk changing that…”

The Other Doctor nodded. “Agreed, then, if that’s what’s supposed to happen.” He sighed. “But I don’t suppose…”

“It’s the only way,” the Doctor answered grimly. His past self hestitantly allowed him to place his fingers on the Other Doctor’s temples. An edgy moment passed. Donna watched as the Doctor appeared to tense himself up, then breathe out. The other man collapsed forward, clearly unconscious.

“What did you do?” she inquired quietly.

“I wiped this memory from his mind,” he responded, laying the Other Doctor out onto a chair.“He-I-am not meant to know this happened until now.”

“But how come he looks different from you?” she asked as they exited the TARDIS and headed through the streets to where an identical one was parked.

“Time Lords can…change our faces. It’s a complicated…thing.”

“Yeah, that’s what he said,” she retorted.

“Oh, Donna, don’t worry about it for now.  You’re going to be stuck with this old thing for a long time coming!” He gave one of his signature _I know I’m handsome_ smiles that he knew irritated her to no end.

Out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw someone in the shadows. It was a man, definitely. Darkness covered most of his face, but a ray of moonlight cut across his chin and the edges of something on his neck-it appeared that he was wearing a bow tie. He didn’t look homeless, exactly, but he certainly didn’t look like a normal member of London society.

She was about to point him out to the Doctor when he bounded up to _his_ TARDIS and swung open the door. She followed him inside, just as he was suggesting a new planet for them to see. “Shen Shen!” he exclaimed. “Beautiful place!”

“Sounds fine,” she said, leaning out the box’s door and peering into the darkness. “Say, what about that other bloke? The you-from-the-past-one? Is he alright?”

“Oh yeah, he’s fine,” the Doctor called from the console. “He’ll come to soon, good as new!”

She nodded, her eyes searching the night for the figure she had seen moments before. There he was, still brooding over there. She wanted to point him out to the Doctor, but he seemed anxious to be off, and besides, what significance could one man with an impressive chin hold?

“It’s just that…isn’t it awful? To not remember something like that?”

She could have sworn that the mysterious fellow in the dark seemed to wince.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on Tumblr! doomsdayroses.tumblr.com


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